IF YOU ARE A REAL "STATE 'O MAINER" ~ from Paul Dudley
You call four inches of snow "a dusting."
You don't understand why there aren't fried clam shacks elsewhere in the country.
You know what an Irving is and the location of 15 of them.
You knew all the flavors at Perry's Nut House.
Your car is covered in yellow-green dust in May.
You can drive the Augusta traffic circle without slowing down.
You've hung out at a gravel pit.
You think a mosquito could be a species of bird.
You once skipped school and went to Bar Harbor, Old Orchard Beach or Reid State Park.
Even your school cafeteria made good chowder.
You've almost fallen asleep driving between Houlton and Presque Isle.
You know how to pronounce Calais.
You've made a meal out of a Jordan's red dye hot-dog,…
…a bag of Humpty Dumpty potato chips and a can of soda.
You've gone to a Grange bean supper.
In high school, you (or a friend) packed Deering Ice Cream cones.
At least once in your life, a seagull pooped on your head.
At least once in your life you've said, "It smells like the mill in here.
" There's a fruit and vegetable stand within 10 minutes of your house.
You crave Italian sandwiches at least weekly.
All year long you're tracking sand in the house-from the beach in the summer…
…and the roads and sidewalks in the winter.
You have to have the sand cleaned out of your brake system every spring.
You do the majority of your shopping out of Uncle Henry's.
You've ditched the car on the side of the road somewhere…
…because you thought you saw some good fiddleheads!
You know a lobster pot is a trap, not a kettle.
You know not to plant tender crops until the last full moon in May.
You go to the dump and bring back more than you brought.
You've watched "Murder she Wrote" and snickered at the stupid fake accents.
You know how to find the rope swing at the quarry.
You take the New Hampshire toll personally.
You always wave when you see a Maine license plate in another state.
There's too much "stuff" in your 2 "cah" garage to get either of your cars into it.
L.L. Bean's not just a store, it's a way of life.
"The City" means exclusively Portland.
"Salt damage" is a viable insurance claim.
All of the traffic lights blink yellow at 10 o'clock at night.
It's not a storm - it's a Nor'eastah.
"Open 24/7" might as well be Greek.
More stores have "Bienvenue! " flags than "Welcome" flags.
You eat ice cream with flavors like 'Moose Tracks" and "Maine Black Bear".
You wouldn't eat beans in tomato sauce or Manhattan clam chowder if you were starving!
As a child, you played outside in a snow storm without hat, mittens, scarf…
…and with your jacket open because it was just a little cool.
The area around your front door is referred to as "the dooryard".
You call the basement "downcellah."
There is only one shopping plaza in town.
You use "wicked" as a multipurpose part of speech.
Your pickup has more mud on it then the ground around it for a 15 foot radius.
More than 1/2 the meat in your freezer is moose.
You enjoy a hot chocolate more than a margarita.
Your dog eats better than you do, and more often too.
If you never say what you paid for an item but how much you'd "give" for it.