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Heart Attack
Historical Tidbits
Last Column
Let's Say Thanks
Lived So Long Without
Military Mania
Mystery Stone
Plastic & Cancer ?
Pumping Gas!
Tomb of the Unknowns
Worth $ of Car!

A guy buys a new Lincoln Navigator for $42,500.00
 (with monthly payments of $560.00).
He and a friend go duck hunting in upper Wisconsin .
 It's mid- winter; and of course all of the lakes are
 frozen. These two guys go out on the ice with their
 GUNS, a DOG, and of course the new NAVIGATOR. They
 decide they want to make a natural looking open
 water area for the ducks to focus on, something for
 the decoys to float on.
Now making a hole in the ice large enough to invite
 a passing duck, is going to take a little more power
 than the average drill auger can produce.
So, out of the back of the new Navigator comes a
 stick of dynamite with a short 40 second-fuse. Now
 our two Rocket Scientists, afraid they might slip on
 the ice while trying to run away after lighting the
 fuse (and becoming toast, along with the Navigator),
 decide on the following course of action: they light
 the 40 second fuse; then, with a mighty thrust, they
 throw the stick of dynamite as far away as possible.
Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I
 mentioned the NAVIGATOR, the GUNS, and the DOG...???
Let's talk about the dog: A highly trained Black Lab
 used for RETRIEVING; especially things thrown by the
 owner. You guessed it: the dog takes off across the
 ice at a high rate of speed and grabs the stick of
 dynamite, with the burning 40-second fuse, just as
 it hits the ice.
The two men swallow, blink, start waving their arms
 and, with veins in their necks swelling to resemble
stalks of rhubarb, scream and holler at the dog to
 stop. The dog, now apparently cheered on by his
 master, keeps coming.
One hunter panics, grabs the shotgun and shoots the
 dog. The shotgun is loaded with #8 bird shot, hardly
 big enough to stop a Black Lab. The dog stops for a
 moment, slightly confused, then continues on.
 Another shot, and this time the dog, still standing,
 becomes really confused and of course terrified,
 thinks these two geniuses have gone insane. The dog
 takes off to find cover, UNDER the brand new
The men continue to scream as they run. The red hot
 exhaust pipe on the truck touches the dog's rear
 end, he yelps, drops the dynamite under the truck
 and takes off after his master.
Then " "" "" "" " BOOOOOOOOOOOM " "" "" "" " ! ! !
The truck is blown to bits and sinks to the bottom
 of the lake, leaving the two idiots standing there
 with "I can't believe this just happened" looks on
 their faces.
The insurance company says that sinking a vehicle in
 a lake by illegal use of explosives is NOT COVERED
 by the policy. And he still had yet to make the
 first of those $560.00 a month payments.
The dog is okay. .doing fine. And you thought
 Rednecks lived in the South.........

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